I'm listing mineral waters for My Favorite Waters for Water Torture of Millionaires. The work will be exhibited in June at Korjaamo Galleria in Helsinki in a group show titled Cool Water. It will consist of an A4 list drawing and a selection of mineral waters in crystal bottles. Jaana is having hard time trying to find bottled water in Helsinki. The Finns think that everything else than municipal tap water is useless luxury and an ecological crime. Maybe they are right but I've never heard anybody saying a word about crystal bottled wine what is imported to Finland from Southern Europe or even from other continents.

Anyhow, I'm now interested in the water torture. It leaves no external marks on victims and has been and will always be one of the most favored torture methods around the world. Practices of the water torture include dunking, forced ingestion, waterboarding adn the infamous Chinese water torture used by the CIA in its secret torture camps. 

I like the idea of torturing the richest capitalists, the most corrupted politicians and the most powerful warlords with Bling H2O, a Tennesee spring water purified in a nine-step process that includes ozone, ultraviolet treatment and micro-filtration. It is sold in frosted bottles decorated with Swarovsky crystals.

My son was crying, my daughter was asking me why dinosaurs died and I was reserving flights for the family - for the summer holiday in Finland, this is what we the emigrants do in August, we don't go to Benidorm or Varadero but to our home countries. Obviously, this multitasking was too much and I got the flights from Helsinki to Madrid when we should go from Madrid to Helsinki. Shit happens.

Actually, I believed that I was going to Mexico today. I'm in the group show Ese Oscuro Objeto del Deseo at Pristine Galerie in Monterrey but nobody sent me tickets that I was waiting. In fact, I'm really happy because traveling was the last thing I wanted to do now. I sent to Raúl, who curates the show, instructions how to paint some demonstration signs with my slogans. I think that's going to be fine. I don't have to be everywhere and do everything.

Now I want to be at home with my kids and wife. The only travel destination is Madrid next week, I'm going to buy lots of painting materials and then beginning a new series of canvases. That's my dream for the next two months: play with the kids, eat lots of gazpacho and paint some marvelous works.

Like every time when I come back home after traveling, I'm exhausted both physically and mentally. I'm happy with the big and impotant show I did in Málaga but there was no festive feelings on Saturday in the opening.

In the morning, we received one copy of the big catalog we made but it didn't meet our expectations (some problems with colors), thought it's definitely a gorgeous book about my work.Then there was nothing to do and Cecilio drove me to see the Jonathan Meese show at CAC. After that I felt that I felt my works were tiny and powerless.

And it wasn't a great idea to do the opening reception the same day that the city celebrated its Noche en blanco cultural festival. The gallery is located in the outskirts of the city in an industrial area, famous for it's brothels New S'candalo and Latidos. The regular guest of the gallery stayed in the center that was full of shows, speactaces and other activities but what I liked mot were the cars stopping by when we did outside of the gallery the Santa action - he was giving out Freeway Cola for free . They were not cars looking for culture but commercial sex. Maybe they got confused with my neon sign work inspired by the Latidos Club.

We drove to Mijas by Pepe's Hummer H3 to shop in Iceland Overseas, a British emigrant Supermarket. Antonella new that it would be my paradise (or inferno). Spanish supermarkets are more boring selling too many fresh and natural things that don't have hilarious mascots and striking slogans. Of course it's saddening that the English pensionists move to Spain and want to live in their baked beans and Lucozade ghetto. But that's perfect material for my art. The most amazing product I found was Tony's Pot Noodle Döner Kebab Flavour. There's not too much to add to that. Even I could believe that it's just one of my works. I can't wait to get to the studio and make a drawing of it. Or maybe it works as a ready-made. Then we got some cakes that I'll decorate with slogans for tomorrows opening that will be packed because it's the nuit blanche in Malaga and already today my works and face are in all the local newspapers.

I made my first neon sign. It's now installed at Gacma Gallery in Málaga. I still haven't seen it. Neither I designed it. I like the idea of myself as a director of a big company who just gives orders and there are lots of professionals and creative people planning and producing the works. I'm not an artisan nor a genius, I'm a brand. My virtue is the attitude. On Tuesday, I fly to Málaga to supervise the installation of the rest of the exhibition and give interviews to the press. The opening is next Saturday.

At least in the pictures the gallery sends me, the neon sign looks fabulous. It says Escribid a Papá Noel y pedid Libertad - Write to Santa and Ask for Freedom. That's the title  of the show and the action we (I love to use the first person plural, because that makes me feel that I run a big team) do in the opening that is the Noche en blanco in Málaga, the all-night arts festival. In the performance, we have a Santa (not me but an impersonator) who distributes cans of Freeway, a private brand cola drink of the discount supermarket Lidl. The cans will be numbered and signed by me - that's something I can still do myself.

Raúl came to visit me yesterday. It was strange to see him here in the village - before we've been together in the cities of Asia and America and now he was in my European tiny village. Emma said that she had never seen him outside of the asphalt when I took them to the ruins of a small castle just outside of Cervera. I think they leave Manhattan only to cab to JFK and fly then to Shanghai or Mexico City. It was great to have some drinks with them in Cervera's Disco Pub Burbujas, which might be the deepest Spain of all possible places.

Tomorrow, I'm going to Madrid with my polar bear which I originally stole from Skärhamn, Sweden, where I did a residency at the Nordic Watercolor museum in 2002. Now he has a new sign saying "Need help to attack Iran". I made the work for Twilight of the Idols, the group show that Raúl is curating at Galería Casado Santapau, the opening is on Wednesday. Raúl writes that Riiko Sakkinen undermines idols of a political nature such as dictators, corporate CEOs, and religious authorities in brutally yet visually striking installations.