29 September 2009, Cervera de los Montes
Berlin was too much hassle after Beijing. We did a great show there but I got a nervous breakdown after the inaugural dinner. During the opening I felt totally lost and exhausted and I was kicked out from my own banquette because I accidentally hit my head to a big mirror. Later we went to Paris Bar where Jani oreder two bottles of champagne. I felt like a buffoon among all the millionaire art collectors, über gallerists and divalike world-famous artist. I wanted to can somewhere away but then recalled that I didn't have any cash and that my bank account was empty, too. I was holding a bottle of Moët & Chandon but poor as a church mouse (or maybe a gallery mouse). Everything seemed to be fake and I cried to Amel that I didn't want to be artist anymore.
Now I'm again back home after traveling two months and I feel much better. I hate the art world and I love to be in the playground with my daughter. I want to be artist but I'm fed up with this infinite poverty.